My little sister turns 28 years old today. Since I’m a forgetful bastard who didn’t login to Amazon soon enough to send her something, I decided to dedicate today’s blog post to the wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, and brutally real Kristen. But how could my sister possibly be relevant to The Art of Swiping? I’m glad I asked.
Something Citra and I touch on a lot is the taboo that surrounds dating, even in 2019. Despite all of our progress, we still feel ashamed to share our dating experiences. Men are labeled “assholes” and women are constantly called sluts – just for going through the motions that dating requires!
The people that surround you impact your beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors. If everyone around you looks down on you and shames you for trying to meet new people, you’re going to feel bad about your own desires and the action you take to fulfill them. That’s gonna hurt your dating life. On the other hand, if they’re supportive, it’s a real help. Kristen: thank you for being one of my sturdiest pillars of support throughout the years!
Yes, believe it or not, my sister and I have the type of close relationship that allows us to tell each other about our dating lives. For me, it was uncomfortable at first. I think it probably was for her, too. But we’re adults and we know how the world works. And any downside of discomfort or ickiness is GREATLY outweighed by the upside of camaraderie, encouragement, and mutual understanding we share.
Honesty and Openness Should Be Common in Sibling Relationships
But I kinda doubt it is. My intuition is that most brothers and sisters probably only tell each other when they’ve started dating someone seriously.
“Hey, I’ve got a new boyfriend. His name is Joe.”
But what about David and Alex and Ethan? Or the awesome details that led to his sister and Joe sharing such a deep connection. Well, the brother will never hear about them. Probably, he doesn’t want to hear about them. Trust me, I get it. But he’s missing out.
You want to really know the people in your life, don’t you? I see too many people around me who seem to have acquaintance-level relationships with their family members. If you’re calling your parents or your siblings and all you’re talking about is the weather and work, you’re doing it wrong.
A Bit about Kristen..
Kristen’s three years younger than me and way ahead of me career-wise. She’s responsible and competent in all the ways that make her an excellent employee for anyone she works with. However, she’s also real and dignified enough to not put up with anyone’s bullshit for too long. Kristen is independent and outspoken in a way that I don’t see in anyone else – honestly.
The same attitude that helps Kristen in her career carries over into her dating life. I respect the hell out of her for that. Kristen tells me about pretty much everyone she dates and she really won’t tolerate garbage (as she says) from guys. I can’t blame her.
On a semi-related note, becoming close and open about dating with Kristen has allowed me to see behind the curtain and get a peek at what other men are like when they’re messaging and meeting girls they’re interested in. All I can say is, “Wow.” The competition is pretty weak, guys. Get your shit together. But I digress…
Thank you Kristen! You’re a great sister in all the ways I could ever ask for. The communication we share is my favorite part. Obviously, I won’t help you celebrate your 28th birthday, considering I’m on the other side of the planet at the moment. Regardless, I hope you have a memorable and happy birthday.
And if your friends throw you a party, I hope more than 6 people show up…